For baseball players, the offseason is another world — and a time to take stock

In​ the​ 2002 offseason, two​ things​ happened: My​ father died,​ and​ I​ entered​ free agency​ for​ the first​ time.

 

The​ loss​ of​ my​ father​​ made me take note of my age. In the offseason, there was no game to hide in or behind, and no fans cheering for me; I had nothing but the mirror in the bathroom staring back at me for feedback. A self-assessment of my game told me that I still could run, I still loved playing, but I could no longer ignore what it meant to play a kid’s game for a living. The unstructured time forced me to explore the ways I still got to be, on some level, a child, with handlers and services provided, while those around me had to grow up and hold things together. Although baseball is a serious job in that you must produce to sustain, in-season you also must shun a lot of off-the-field responsibility to stay in focus.